Anger

I know that yesterday was Veteran's Day and I have super horrible timing but I'm going to post this anyway. I'm so angry at the my husband today. We had a big fight yesterday because he has told me for the last 3 years that he was for SURE getting out in spring 2014. Now he's trying to change his mind. Maybe it's not my decision, maybe I should support whatever decision he makes but it makes me fighting mad to think about almost 10 more years! How many deployments is that? When kasey deployed in 2010, karmen was 2. She was close to 4 when he got home and missed almost half her life if you include the 6 months of training he had to be away for from january-august. He was home for my FIRST semester of nursing school and missed the next 3. He thinks he can be in a non-deployable unit and things will be happy go lucky like they've been for the last year since he got home but I just don't trust the military. period. I don't trust them saying that he's not deployable. What happens when he deploys and doesn't come home? What happens when he deploys again when he PROMISED karmen he wouldn't ever leave like that again? She has the memory of an elephant so I know that she won't forget that. He thinks that I hate the military and that I always have/always will. He thinks I don't support his career decisions and that's not true. I want him to get out of the military because I love him. I want him to get out of the military because it's dangerous and it requires years away from your family. Rant over.

time slips away

Isnt it funny how quickly time passes? The last post i wrote was when blakely was brand spankin new and now shes 6months old. Im very content at this point in my life and i am trying to savor it because i know this life isnt supposed to be this wonderful and this wont last forever. Kaseys home (aka not deployed), our marriage is healthy, our kids are beautiful and funny and sweet and precious, we both have good jobs we enjoy, good friends, good families. I feel like our new home is actually home, unlike the other one where i never felt too attached. Maybe because karmen and i were always there alone...i know, poor me. I wish i could bottle the kids up and keep them this way forever. They love each other so much and i know that eventually they will fight, swear they hate each other at times, tattle on each other, etc etc.. its 2 am and kaseys in okc for more army stuff so karmen is asleep next to me and i just put blakely back in her crib. Ive mostly only posted about the sour aspects of motherhood on here so far so jot this one down in thesweet category. :) Hopefully Blakely wont be 1 before my next post.